Okay… Let’s see… I am almost 30 but still feel like I’m 17 or so since that idea of growing up (and therefore out of everything tough) turned out to be a total bucket o’ lies. Now I’m raising two amazing humans and learning more than I ever thought was possible, trying hard each day to smooth out the rough bits of me that need smoothing for the sake of my family, and loving the rough bits of me that are meant to stay.
I’m trying to balance my love of crafting (knitting, crocheting, sewing, needle felting, etc), reading, writing fiction, being in nature, nurturing my home life, and ahh… parenting. Of course, I know which is the most important and no it ain’t knitting, but I still struggle to keep things in balance. I am passionate about most things I choose to do, which sometimes, often, takes over in a way that’s not very… convenient. After all, I’m not a solo hiker anymore.
I have explored Catholic mysticism, Quakerism, Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, lovingly read the Tao te Ching, the writings of mystics and monks and folks who got sainted. I love faith in all of its many, many forms. At the moment I’m slightly preoccupied with the Amish and felt Enormously Conflicted when I sewed on 50 buttons to a wall quilt yesterday, and had to remind myself that I am NOT Amish so I don’t need to feel bad. I grew up and am still Sufi, which has been the single most influential element of my life.
I think a simple life is immensely valuable, that nature is the best “entertainment” as well as medicine, that family is *hugely* important, that kids deserve FAR more respect and attention and kindness than they usually get, that school and its oft-revered socialization are vastly overrated (I could go on for hours about this, if you like), that listening is one of the most powerful gifts from the Divine (though in no way do I find it easy—I think Listening Well must in fact be a muscle), that I am allowed to keep changing my mind until I find the best path for me for this particular moment in my life, even if I end up looking like a wishy-washy nutjob. So be it.
All in all, I am happy, struggling, learning, praying, forgetting, creating, reaffirming, and constantly dusting off my intentions to be present in the here and now of my beautiful life.
All of Maryam’s posts can be found here.