And Thus Romance Takes its Revenge
Well, my guess is that it’s all probably because I had been thinking a lot about romance, which is a subject that I’ve always been… wary of. Falling in love has been off the agenda for ages. And finally I think I was starting to come to the conclusion that I might be capable of letting myself start something like that.
FAIL. And yes, if you’re friends with me on Facebook, I guarantee you’ve already heard this story.
It started out sort of okay. One of my friends took me out on a date, which was all fine and good. We had fun. But he’s not someone that I want to start anything with anyhow, but it was nice of him. And I decided a long time ago that if someone decided to ask me on a date that I would go on one date with him, even if I don’t like the guy.
But then things turned a little more tricky.
Recently I’ve started to go out Blues dancing on Wednesdays. And Blues dancing… well, it’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, much less done before. Not many mormon girls do it. Which means that I feel kind of sacriligious, but it’s kind of my moment to be social and have some fun. And the first night was super fun. I had no clue what I was doing, but I had the chance to dance with not one, but two VERY talented guys. I got to shock all of my non-LDS friends, who realized that I must have some idea of how to move my hips. The funnest part was listening to them talking about it on the sidelines. It’s not one of those things you hear a lot in other moments of your life. I had girls teaching me different moves. I stole one guy’s hat. It was a lot of fun, and I think that night I really needed it.
Well, the next week, it was a little more different.
Instead, I ended up somehow dancing a ton with a guy who must be at least ten years older than me, has already been married, divorced, and has a kid. This is how one of the conversations with him went:
- Him: Yeah, I’ve been married before. And divorced. But it’s been two years now, and I’m doing much better.
- Me: That’s good.
- Him: But being married already makes me trash, doesn’t it?
- Me: …Not necessarily. (I mean, what are you supposed to say when someone does that? I try to have a lot of respect for people who have been divorced. I’ve seen what it does, and I know it’s not easy. But apparently this guy took it to mean that I wouldn’t object to dating him. Not what I meant at all.)
Well, the following Saturday I got one of my friends to take me grocery shopping. She stayed in the car because her leg was in a little bit of pain, and she had some writing that she was working on. So while I’m in the store, swiping my stuff at the self-check out (and therefore I am incapable of escape) this same guy comes up to me. Our conversation goes something like this:
- Him: So, you can just tell me to bug off if you want to, but I have a question to ask you.
- Me: (The “oh bad” signals start to flare, and I’m standing there holding a bag of oranges, looking at my half-full cart hoping that there’s some way to escape this. There’s not.) …Okay…
- Him: Would you maybe like to go out and get lunch today?
- Me: Um, I’ve already eaten, and I have a ton of homework to do today.
- Him: Okay, so how about next friday? (The sirens in my head really start to wail.)
- Me: I don’t plan that far ahead. (AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! What does he think he’s doing? Leave me be!)
- Him: How about in two days then?
- Me: (A little more feebly than I would have liked.) I still don’t plan that far ahead. (Oh no. He’s not just being creepy, he’s being persistantly creepy. OH BAD.)
- Him: So I should probably take that as a “no” then?
- Me: Probably. (Oh, thank goodness! He got the message!)
- Him: Okay. Thanks for being straight-forward with me.
- Me: Uh huh. (Okay, feel free to leave like, a full paragraph ago.)
- Him: Oh, and by the way, I don’t think you need to worry about how you dance at all. I think you have a lot of strong points.
- Me: Thanks. (Why hasn’t he left by now? Leave me be!)
I finally got back out to the car and I start screaming and tell my friend what happened. As she’s driving me back she informs me that she thinks that he has a little girl. I proceed to be even more creeped out. I call my mom when I get back home, and start sobbing on the phone to her about this. What she says:
- Her: You told him no, right?
- Me: YES!!!!!
- Her: Good. I’m glad that you didn’t feel like you had to keep your rule for that.
Yay for my mom telling me that I did okay. Every girl needs that at some point.
I talked to both of my roommates about this later, and to my regret, they both know the guy. One of them informed me that when she first met him he asked her out for drinks, and that she thought he was a severe creeper. So what I would like to know is, why would he ask me out on a date if he knows that I’m active and that I’m not going to be drinking? And that I’m probably too young to even think about drinking?
To sum it all up, it was disturbing.
I think the worst part though was just that it’s kind of a blow to one’s morale. I mean, I’ve gotten used to not really attracting a lot of people in the last however many years. Being a teenage girl who dislikes wearing make-up will do that to you. But attracting creepy men who are that much older than you and who know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about you is a whole new level of depressing.
Although the irony of the whole situation would be really entertaining, if it happened to someone else. I said that I wanted a Mr. Rochester, and low and behold, one came my way. Older than me with a child. But in my opinion, it was in the worst possible way, and therefore, NOT A ROCHESTER!!!!! So now I have to clarify my statement: I want someone with a Rochester-like personality, not a Rochester-like lifestyle. But of course, right now, the field is open to anyone who is not a creeper. In a way, it feels a little like this:
I wonder a little bit why that had to happen though. I wonder if it was designed to make me want to give up, or to make me realize that if I want to do much dating I might have to have a little practice telling people no as well. I’m sure there’s some lesson that I’m supposed to learn from it. Or maybe there’s not.
*Sigh* This whole thing pretty much sucks.