The World Cup…An Alternative Version
Yesterday, England played its first match against the USA. “Come on, England!” was to be heard everywhere. As I was driving to work, the streets were awash with the St George’s flag of white and red. I hoped it would mean a quiet evening in A&E, as the world would be at home watching the football.
At work, when the footy started, every male in the place started getting twitchy and the scores were being announced every time a goal was scored. I worked in the observation ward in A&E, where we keep patients who cannot be immediately discharged home, e.g. waiting for blood results.
I had a gentlemen who came in initially with chest pain, but had now resolved. Unfortunately, he could not go out to the waiting room to watch the football there on the TV until all blood results were clear. SO we tried to improvise. The hospital’s internet service would not allow us to play BBC iPlayer. The computer did not have speakers, so we could not play internet radio either. So, we compromised by telling him that we would announce the score every five minutes.
The evening was quiet until 9pm, when it was over and the match was a draw.
Unsurprisingly, the masses flooded in to A&E soon after, with numerous drunken assaults on each other, head injuries and lacerations that either needed to be sutured or glued. The whole of A&E was looking like a war zone. As I entered Minors, I saw a man with blood pouring out from a wound on his face. We had to transfer him to Majors with a trail of blood behind him.
I treated a man who was drinking alcohol at a party and somehow had a bottle of beer smashed over his head. I glued the small laceration on his forehead and applied steristrips. To my disbelief, he turned round, complaining that he could not go out like this, he had a major function tomorrow and he was looking awful and could I not suture it? (!!!)
He was fortunate the cut wasn’t deep.
All I can say during this time, is that I will be a dab hand at suturing and gluing lacerations until the World Cup is over.
Suture kit, here I come!