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Spring Wish List

February 13, 2010

Dear Easter Bunny,

Normally this would be a job for Santa, but I simply can’t wait until next December, so I’m writing to you instead. I know you usually bring me chocolate, and I’m uber grateful for that, let me tell you, but I have a few other requests this year.

I know I (half-)joke about being an 80 year old trapped in a 22 year old’s body, but this is just getting a bit ridiculous. I mean, I am used to feeling a tad awkward about the cane, going up stairs slowly and the like, but this is the second time I’ve fallen on the ice (and I didn’t even re-injure the same place! It’s a new injury!). I promise I was being more careful than last time, too! And I literally tottered home at a snail’s pace. (Well, not all the way home – I got all the way to the Corner before I gave up and called a cab because going downhill was freaking me out a bit.) I have nothing against being 80, mind you, I’d just like to get a few more years of good walking time out of my legs before it’s over and done with, please.

So, with that in mind, Mr. Bunny, would you please bring us some less icy weather? Or at least a city that believes that “clearing the snow” doesn’t mean leaving a 3-6 inch layer of ice on top of the sidewalks? I don’t mean to ask for much, but it’d be nice to be able to get all the way home without playing slip and slide. Just saying.

If you’re feeling really generous, it’d be great if you could fill in some of those testy holes and potholes that make normal weather foot travel a bit treacherous. And would you put in a word with someone about getting more working elevators and the occasional outside ramp as an alternative to those really narrow outside staircases in Central Grounds? I know we’re a national historical site and everything needs to look pretty for the tourists (and I’m not making light of that; UVA’s heritage is awesome), but one day I’d really like to be able to go to the third floor of the anthropology building without worrying that I’ll have to stop halfway up the multitude of flights of stairs, or that I may not be able to get back down again. I get that we’re one of the healthiest universities in the country and we’re a walking university and they’re trying to get people to get more exercise and take the stairs, but I promise I don’t take the elevator just to be lazy. (Besides, it’d be a huge favor to those poor people stuck behind me who Secretly Want To Smack Slow Walking People on the Back of the Head, as the Facebook saying goes).

I wouldn’t say no to world peace, either.

Love,
A’ishah.

P.S. Please put some extra chocolate in the baskets of everyone who’s stopped to help me when I’ve fallen (and not made me feel terribly embarrassed about it), who’s held open doors and not complained when it took me awhile to get to them, and who’s gotten stuck behind my slow-moving self on the stairs and braved it without complaint. And don’t forget my friends who take the elevator when they’re with me without complaint, even though it’s slower and they’d rather take the stairs. And put in a good word for the cab drivers who are patient with the weird chick in the headscarf who’s always calling for really short trips home.

x-posted

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 13, 2010 1:00 pm

    ooh, the easter bunny can send your weather our way ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. February 13, 2010 10:33 pm

    Hm, do you think it is haram to make du’a to the Easter Bunny? Dodgy territory there XD XD

    Perhaps we should have a ‘Dear God’ kind of designation – that would be interesting. At least, I would be interested in that, I don’t know if the rest of you girls would be!

    Thoughts?

  3. February 13, 2010 10:59 pm

    Well, I didn’t really think of it as making du’a – more like a tongue-in-cheek joke letter. But I am not necessarily an excellent judge of what is haram and what is not. XD

    I’m down with a Dear God designation. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. February 14, 2010 12:06 am

    I read ‘excellent judge’ as ‘excellent fudge’…what does that mean?

    No, I know it’s a joke! So was my comment!

    (Muslim stuff ahead!) That said, though, there is some territory it does better to avoid altogether when joking, and anything about tawhid or somebody’s parents is like the Area 51 of jesting. Although this is just rather funny XD So: only a note to say be careful!

  5. February 14, 2010 12:08 am

    Does it mean that I’m chocolatey?

    And understood oh fearless leader! ๐Ÿ˜€

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